Life Lessons
by Emily Ruth
Summary: Sakura is sick of following instructions and decides to write her own little journal on Life Lessons. From tips to tricks, she'll put them down. She's transforming from hairy, big eyebrowed geek, and she's doing it in the most drastic ways possible. AU
1. Prologue

**This story is sort of inspired by random daily moments. Some from my friends, some from books, some from TV shows and some from my own actual life. Enjoy.

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**Life Lessons**.

**Prologue.**

When you've grown up to follow instructions and go by the rules, it's inevitable that either one of two things will happen. Option one; You continue living life as a robot, never to achieve your goal, and become an office drone. Option two; You rebel. You rebel like fucking crazy.

If I was asked which path I thought I would lead about a year ago, I'd probably answer, "I'll stick to the rules, that's always safe." So, this is why I've started this journal.

No more goodie-two-shoes. No more, 'speak when spoken to'. No more uniforms. No more 'rules', just lessons. Life lessons.


	2. Hair is most definitely not flattering

**Well, first chapter. I'll probably perfect it if I find errors and change bits. Yes, this is Sakura... since even after all this time, I still like to write from her view. Anyway. Enough of my shit. On with the story.**

**Disclaimer: Jesus, why the fuck would I own Naruto? **

**Life Lessons.**

**Chapter One.**

_Lesson 1: Even if you wear thick tights, always, always shave your legs._

I stared out at the school before me. I was nervous. As nervous as a little fish stuck in a tank with a very large fish. This was Year twelve, six form school and mostly every one who came here were the 'It' people. The 'It' people are the people with diamonds bigger than my face, maybe even my whole body. In other words, for those who don't understand, they're dirty stinking rich. And these 'It' people have made my life a living hell since Year seven.

Now on the issues of money... I'm average. I live in a moderately sized home (It's tiny and smells weird), have a lovely family (my dad left a couple years ago with some skanky hoe and my aunt decided she needed to live with us to make Mother feel better- she also brought her kids along. All five of them), and a beautiful pet of the highest caliber (It's a fish, called Terry). I got into this school on Scholarship because I'm oh-so-clever, har-har.

Quiz time, ladies and gentleman! How many Scholarship students are there at this amazingly prestigious school?

What was that? Three?

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

Three.

Three 'nerds'. Three 'geeks'. Three 'dorks'.

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I made my way to the dorms. There weren't many dorms here, since being 'rich' was on the requirement list and well, not everyone is rich, are they? I passed many other students, with plucked eyebrows and tan skin, bright eyes and fake noses. They snorted at my presence. Anyone with eyebrows like these should be snorted at. Great, now I'm depressed.

My room was small, just a plain bed, with a wardrobe and desk. The walls were a beige sort of colour, it was actually rather disgusting. My bag dropped to the floor and I sighed.

Time to unpack.

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This place didn't seem like home, even with my photos on the wall, even with my posters and framed work, even with my awards. My awards covered up most of the wall and showed my geekery to the world. Maths Challenge. Science Quiz - Gold Award! Oh yeah! I'm such a hot chick.

I stared through my glasses and lank hair at the wall and gulped. I'm not being wallpaper this year. I'm not being told what to do.

My mother always wanted me to succeed, always wanted me to go into medical sciences. But... that's not me and I don't want to hold up to expectations anymore.

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"Sakura Haruno? Sakura Haruno...?"

"Uh, yeah!" I swirled out of my day dream of Wotsits taking over the world and stared straight at the teacher that called my name.

"You sit at the back, with the other scholarship students." The teacher, Kakashi Hatake, mumbled to me. I'd never actually had him before. I made my way over to the two boys I always had to sit next to. They looked at me wonderingly and then went back to work.

Freaks.

Although, I'm the one saying that.

I could feel people muttering. Muttering about... well, maybe the way my skirt is really long and how my eyebrows are sort of thick and my hair is dyed pink. I looked down to the page of my notebook, prodding the pen into the paper. Why did lessons always have to start so early? We only got here about an hour ago.

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Everyone here (except the minute few, i.e me and the other two nerds) is an 'It' person, but within the 'It' people, there are the **'IT' **people.

Firstly, the female specimens;

Ino Yamanaka, fashion expert, will never be caught wearing anything a second out of fashion. Had a fling with 100% Sexiness On Legs, Dog Boy, Weird Smiley Freak and has had her eye on Pineapple Head for a while. Let's call her Pig Face.

Hinata Hyuuga, quiet, shy, but has one hell of a fucking hit. Hyuuga Corps. Something you don't want to mess with.

Ten Ten, no last name that anyone knows of. Unhealthy attraction to knives. Is fucking Neji Hyuuga.

Now, onto the males;

Neji Hyuuga. Is fucking Ten Ten, if you remember from a couple seconds earlier. Sorta' scary. Eyes remind me of Milk Bars. He's pale enough to be the Milky Bar kid. Therefore he is Milky.

Naruto Uzumaki, a complete and utter idiot. I'm scared it's contagious. (Note to self: wear mask) His family own Uzumaki Corps, a huge Ramen maker. He talks about Ramen a little bit too much.

Kiba Inuzuka. Alias: Dog Boy. Smells a bit like a dog. The Inuzuka family own vetinary services all over the place. He's pretty well off in the money department.

Shikamaru Nara. Lazy ass. My secret best friend. I love him like snuggly things. It's a shame he has to act like a dick to me during the day.

Sasuka Uchiha. Biggest. Fucking. Prick. Of. All. Time. Damn those Uchihas. Damn them to a place full of horse shit!

Had enough?

I'll tell you more later, sweetums.

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For five years, these pricks have made my life hell (Except Pineapple, whom I love). Calling me 'Fat Sakura'. 'Mono Rail Brow'. 'Pink Attack' (Which I sort of like, actually) and so on.

"Watch it, wide forehead!"

"Urgh!" I fell on my knees, grazing them and groaned as my glasses flew off. I didn't really need them too badly, I wasn't blind-blind. I picked myself up and brushed down my legs with a frown.

I was gunna' show them. I was gunna' show them, good.

I heard snickers around me and noticed my tights had pulled. The damage was great, the whole front of the tights had laddered... showing the world my skinny, rather hairy legs. I blushed, embarrassed.

Oh fuck.

"That is fucking disgusting..." I heard Ino's voice cut through, "If her legs are like that I wonder what more... intimate places look like. Tell me, Haruno! Are you part Sasquatch?"

I pulled my bag in front of my legs and pulled a face, biting back the tears and trying hard to bite back the words- but with words, I failed horribly.

"Tell me, Pig Face! Can you even spell Sasquatch?"

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Oh** crap.** The wrath of the dumb.

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**Bah. I don't like how it turned out. But oh well. I can always go over it, can't I?**

**Hope you liked it.  
**


	3. Ah, allergies

**What inspired this? Well, nothing really. I just thought the legs things would be funny... Well, read and enjoy.**

**Life Lessons.**

**Chapter 2.**

_Lesson 2: Read the back of the box or bottle. **DON'T** forget it!_**  
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_Directions for use: Apply directly onto the skin, spreading the cream evenly to fully cover the hair._

_Leave the cream on for 5 minutes, and then, using the spatula given, test a small area. If the hair comes away easily, remove the rest of the cream._

_Rinse skin thoroughly and dry well._

Sounds... easy enough... The best part was stealing it from Ino's bedroom... and messing up her clothes. That girl has a lot of cosmetics... I wonder if she even has a face.

I took the cream and locked myself in the bathroom. Everyone has an on-suite bathroom, you see, more convenient. I began the process of de-Sasquatch-ization.

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I touched my milk-bottle legs and felt the corners of my normally straight mouth go up. It was so smooth... reminds me of my cousins arse... but that's quite freaky and sounds really incestrous. It was her fault, I swear!

I stared into my mirror, changing... Changing felt good. It felt really good. I readied my shower and jumped in, feeling the water wash all over my body. I used to hate showers, always cold and never any shower gel... well, I stole some of that too. Hey! Don't do a disappointed face... I was being efficient and plus! Have you even seen how many products she has? Jesus Christ! My theories of Ino Yamanaka being an alien are slowly proving true...

I may do some investigation.

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Okay, I'm not ready for no tights yet... My legs... are sort of skinny, not sexy at all, plus the skirt is all wrong! It's grey and pleated... how could I even wear that? Trousers time... I suppose that will do. I gave a long yawn looking in the mirror again.

My eyes must have had a resemblance to that of a Bush Baby's.

No way.

No **fucking** way.

I stared in complete and utter horror at my pink scalp. It was flaking all over the place, sore and... and... Ugh! Disgusting! My legs rushed me to my bathroom and I picked up the bottle in the shower tray.

**FUCK.**

**I'm allergic to fucking garlic.**

...Why is there garlic in her shampoo?

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First instincts when you get a red itchy scalp are; Panic.

_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. What do I do?_

Morbid Curiosity.

_I wonder if this will bleed if I itch it- ... Yep._

Bizare Ideas.

_If I scratch it all out, it will go away._

_...Nope, more blood._

And finally;

Loss of hope or Suicide.

_There's no hope! It's ruined! I should just die! Where are the fucking painkillers?!

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"Sakura." I knew that lazy voice anywhere. It was... mister Fruit Salad. Mister Pineapple.

"She's not here!" I oh-so-cleverly remark, with a whine, "So go away Mister Pineapple."

"Sakura... You know I can pick locks."

"Lies!"

But the lies were truths and soon enough, The Nara was in my dorm, closing the door behind him, "..."

"If you're going to rape my space at least say something important." I retort, giving him a raised (hairy) eyebrow.

"...Rape your space...?" He shook his head, "Troublesome child."

"...Six months, Nara! Six months!"

"Still makes me older." I poked his head and then go back under the covers, ignoring him. Although the ignoring wasn't very good since my green eyes sort of stared at him through the covers.

"You look like an owl."

"Gee, thanks."

He lay his head onto my desk, looking at my lap top, "Get any new games?"

I didn't answer. I really wasn't in the mood... 'The games' just reminded me of how much a bloody outcast I was and how non of this was working. I sat up, holding the hat on my head firmly, but the pink-ness had spread to my forehead and neck so I knew Pineapple could see it with his beady eyes.

"Ugh. Troublesome." His eyes went over me, "So, Haruno, what's the rash from? I'm assuming that's the reason you didn't come to class today and why that hat is not leaving your head."

I gave him a nasty look and he simply blinked boredly back at me. That's when I pulled off the hat, "What should I do?"

He still stared, not doing a thing, just looking, "...I'll sort it out."

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I walked through the halls, getting glances from the 'It' people. Maybe it was my hair... Shikamaru had fixed it for me... Cut the long down my back strands of pink, washed away the scratches on the scalp and let it go curly with the water. It felt so much more free, it was unbelievable.

Snickers. I turned my head to find the **'IT'** people laughing.

"Nice legs Haruno!" I looked down, they were... pink.

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**DAMN YOU FAIR SKIN.**

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**Yes, damn you. Fair skin causes way too many problems, it's very unfair.**

**Hope you liked.  
**


	4. Pig Face

**I wonder if you're thinking, this person has no life since I've updated loads today. Not really, I just get bored easily. These chapters are really small aren't I? Sorry.

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**Life Lessons.**

**Chapter Three.**

_Lesson 3: Angry pigs are not happy pigs.  
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I sometimes like to lie on my bed and think. Just think the time away. Then I get worried I should be doing my homework and find out it's already 2:00 am. I think about a lot of things. Girl things, you know, the usual; boys, hair, clothes. I think about how awesome my new game is... and how I'm going to spend my October Holidays.

It's actually been quite a while since The Nara did my hair and I've been reluctant to change anything more. I mean, I know this is what I want, it's just... 'Why should I have to change?'. There's the whole little voice in my head which keep distracting me, telling me to just go for it.

Then I worry that by changing, I'm being... I don't know how to describe it... selfish, maybe? But... why can't I become who I've always wanted to be?

I pulled my self off the bed covers and played around with the curtains, closing them and switching on my light.

Time to do some work.

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I got a B for my science project. I'm really letting myself go, man. I suppose that's what I get for working from 1:00 am to 5:00 am, anyway.

"Move, Forehead." Ino's soft silky hair brushed my arm and all I did was side-step. I touched my forehead... God, it's not that big, dumb bitch. Her little cronies followed her. The boys were slower, walking with their own pace. Shikamaru walked past without even a glance.

This had happened every day for five years and a couple weeks, and yet, today, it annoyed me. I gave him a secret glare, before kicking the back of his leg. He looked back at me, making sure they were out of ear-shot, "What is it?"

I stared at him. As if he didn't fucking know, "Nothing... Meet me at my dorm, at twelve, tonight, okay?"

He raised a brow but didn't ask me anything, just walked, again at his own pace to catch up with his oh-so-loving rich friends.

Now! Off to English.

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The mission begins.

Dun dun dun dun dun- Okay, I'll shut up now.

You see, those of the male species aren't allowed into the girls rooms past eight. Although... no-one really follows this rule unless Tsunade, the principle, is patrolling the halls.

I wonder if Shikamaru can do it-

Knock. Knock.

I'm guessing, yes! He's leaning against the door frame, holding his laptop. Clever boy, he knows exactly what I need.

"So, Haruno. Tell me your great plan."

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"Hi." I mutter into my four year old brick of a phone. And I call myself a techna-whore... what shame.

"Uh... who's this?"

"Me, you twerp!"

"Oh, right. Sakura... What do you want?" Her voice is so manly, it's surreal. "Shut your thoughts." She can hear me. Oh god.

"Well, Temari, my lovely, beautiful, sexy, older friend whom I love-"

"Get on with it."

"I need a place to stay for two weeks."

"And?"

"Well, can I stay with you and Anko? And the boys... obviously." Another dumb, less-rich bitch, but we've known each other for awhile.

"Hang on... **KANKURO!**" I could hear her yell a couple things before she got back to me. That girl really needs to like... get a Bonsai Tree and calm it. "...Tell me something."

"Depends what it is you want to know..."

"Why are you coming here and not going home?"

"Because, Temari... the words you've been wanting to hear for a long time; I've decided to change."

"Heh. We'll pick you up in two weeks." She threw the phone down and I looked at the ceiling with a smile, before frowning. She could at least say bye, the blonde cow.

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"Oi! Pinkie!" You know, sometimes, my mind is really abusive.

"Oi! **PINKIE!**" Oh... wait... it's Pig Face.

"What do you want, Pig Fac- Ino?" She stood, with her hand on her hip, glaring at me.

"Did you," Prod, "Get Shika," Poke, "In trouble?"

"...Do you really have to poke me? I mean... that's not very friendly. We could have tea and biscuits, you know, but instead you poke me-"

"FOREHEAD. Answer. Me." Ohhh, scary tone.

"I dunno." Shrug. Shrugs annoy her. Tee-fucking-hee.

Her manicured nails took a grip round my collar and she pulled me close to her face, menacingly. Her hypnotic blue eyes glared into mine and her perfectly arched eyebrows were down in pure anger, "Stupid, little Scholarship Student, with no money... You know what we could do to you right? If you don't behave... then you're done for."

I took the words and simply stared back at her, before I couldn't contain my anger are further... I do actually have outbursts... a lot.

"Anything you do to me, can't be worse than anything I've been through before, Ino Yamanaka." I pulled her hand off me, "I'm sick of rules and regulations... And guess what." I brushed my collar and the rest of my clothes, "You just pushed my limit. I'm going to blow your brains."

She looks terrified. I feel like having a party with balloons just for this utter joyful moment in life. Ino Yamanaka is SCARED of Sakura Haruno! For a split second.

She trips me and walks away, "Stupid Forehead!"

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How exactly do you get a _stupid_ forehead?

I mean... Pig Face makes a lot of sense... whereas all you get out of 'Stupid Forehead' is... a lacking in IQ piece of skin at the front of the head...

Hmm...

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**Some things people say make me think... for example, 'Your mum's your dad!' ... Oh, wow, I'm certainly amazing aren't I? My mother is my father as well.**

**Hope you liked.  
**


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